Put your own oxygen mask on before assisting other passengers. If you’ve been on a plane before, you’ve heard this saying. What would it look like if you put your own proverbial mask on before placing others? Looking after yourself first? As a leader, making sure that your own stress is properly managed translates to helping yourself so that you’re available to help others. When we don’t have a handle on our stress, it can reveal our negative personal tendencies, be it arrogance, melodrama or volatility. While those derailers have an immense effect on our ability to produce work, they also negatively affect those around us.
It can be easy when we’re in high stress situations to think only about how the stress is affecting us. But, in fact, according to Yale University Professor Laurie Santos, stress is an ‘emotional contagion’ that can spread to others remarkably quickly—and its effects can linger for hours, even days. So, how can we manage our own stress and avoid it spreading to our teams?
Step 1: Recognise Personal Obstacles
What can you anticipate? Is there a massive announcement coming up for the 13th, but one of your best managers is on holiday? Being aware of these situations as early as possible, communicating with the team and working to come up with a single desired outcome is a good way to manage stress. The collaboration between you and the team to come up with the right solution can also help to build trust and rapport.
Also, it might seem obvious, but what’s bothering you? If you feel like you are about to react, take a pause and think about what might be triggering that reaction. You then you may be able to identify the stress derailer behind the response before responding. This identification can help depersonalise the issue and aid us in taking the right approach in tackling it. The key to doing this successfully is to not attach justifications or emotions to the issue. It won’t be easy at first, but by trying consistently to be aware of our feelings and implementing this identification when situations arise, it will become more natural over time.
Step 2: Attune to Others
Are you sure you’re practicing empathy? Often, we conflate sympathy with empathy, not understanding that we must try to understand another person’s feelings and perspectives, even if we don’t necessarily agree with them.
This shouldn’t look like expressing pity. In a workplace, empathy needs to be a genuine acknowledgment of someone’s emotional experience, coupled with understanding why they feel that way. For example, empathetic communication could sound like, “As we discuss this process change, it seems to be frustrating you because you feel it’s less efficient. Let’s explore how I can best support you in adopting this change. Is that ok?” This sort of questioning shows care and concern without any judgement, which can help to start conversation aimed at a solution.
But keep in mind: genuine empathy is not about providing immediate solutions or trying to fix the problem at hand. We must be active listeners first, gathering their facts and feelings, and showing that we understand how the person feels without judgment or defensiveness. By embracing empathy in leadership, leaders can create a culture of trust and psychological safety within their teams. Only then can their actions have the inverse positive effect of encouraging authentic communication, fostering stronger relationships and enhancing overall team performance and well-being.
Step 3: Using Emotional Intelligence
You’re ready to look for a solution after you practice active listening. It’s easier said than done, but emotional intelligence is key to gaining better tangible outcomes. By gaining insight into your own emotions and those of your teams, you can move towards finding that shared desired outcome and goals.
I don’t believe that leaders aspire to be detached or unfeeling. It can be easy, however, to prioritise task completion over considering the individual needs of their team members when there is a big deadline to meet or a client to impress. This creates an emotional disconnect that makes sustained high-performance teamwork challenging. In turn, leaders can find themselves in a derailing situation, where the gap between their intentions and outcomes is larger than they wanted.
Our biannual global leadership survey found that when leaders did not view their company’s leadership as effective with interpersonal skills, they were 3.5X more likely to indicate they wanted to leave within the year. Organisations that prioritise encouraging leaders to practice emotional intelligence see higher employee engagement, productivity and retention rates, coupled with reduced burnout levels. Emotional intelligence can significantly enhance the likelihood of achieving overarching organisational objectives.
Leaders can create a supportive environment by seeking team perspectives on challenges, prioritising tasks and encouraging idea generation for better communication and problem-solving. Emphasise the importance of active listening and consider team feedback, even if not all suggestions seem feasible initially. By integrating input and maintaining transparency, leaders can reduce team burnout and accelerate project progress. Acknowledging the complexities of leadership leads to a more collaborative and resilient team dynamic.
Lessons Learned
Good leadership relies heavily on understanding oneself, demonstrating empathy and fostering collaboration. As leaders, our actions have a big influence on how the company operates and thinks on a day-to-day basis. By “putting on our own mask first”, we’re ensuring the future success of our teams. Using emotional intelligence, leaders can learn to adeptly communicate with their teams, understanding both the words spoken and their underlying emotions to nurture rapport and trust within the team. Through strong relationship-building skills and emotional intelligence, empathy-equipped leaders cultivate collaboration, loyalty and a positive organisational culture.
Bruce Watt is Sr. VP Europe, Australia, India & Licensee Partners at DDI
July 16, 2024
Put on your own mask first: Leadership strategies for stress management and emotional resilience
by Bruce Watt • Comment, Wellbeing
It can be easy when we’re in high stress situations to think only about how the stress is affecting us. But, in fact, according to Yale University Professor Laurie Santos, stress is an ‘emotional contagion’ that can spread to others remarkably quickly—and its effects can linger for hours, even days. So, how can we manage our own stress and avoid it spreading to our teams?
Step 1: Recognise Personal Obstacles
What can you anticipate? Is there a massive announcement coming up for the 13th, but one of your best managers is on holiday? Being aware of these situations as early as possible, communicating with the team and working to come up with a single desired outcome is a good way to manage stress. The collaboration between you and the team to come up with the right solution can also help to build trust and rapport.
Also, it might seem obvious, but what’s bothering you? If you feel like you are about to react, take a pause and think about what might be triggering that reaction. You then you may be able to identify the stress derailer behind the response before responding. This identification can help depersonalise the issue and aid us in taking the right approach in tackling it. The key to doing this successfully is to not attach justifications or emotions to the issue. It won’t be easy at first, but by trying consistently to be aware of our feelings and implementing this identification when situations arise, it will become more natural over time.
Step 2: Attune to Others
Are you sure you’re practicing empathy? Often, we conflate sympathy with empathy, not understanding that we must try to understand another person’s feelings and perspectives, even if we don’t necessarily agree with them.
This shouldn’t look like expressing pity. In a workplace, empathy needs to be a genuine acknowledgment of someone’s emotional experience, coupled with understanding why they feel that way. For example, empathetic communication could sound like, “As we discuss this process change, it seems to be frustrating you because you feel it’s less efficient. Let’s explore how I can best support you in adopting this change. Is that ok?” This sort of questioning shows care and concern without any judgement, which can help to start conversation aimed at a solution.
But keep in mind: genuine empathy is not about providing immediate solutions or trying to fix the problem at hand. We must be active listeners first, gathering their facts and feelings, and showing that we understand how the person feels without judgment or defensiveness. By embracing empathy in leadership, leaders can create a culture of trust and psychological safety within their teams. Only then can their actions have the inverse positive effect of encouraging authentic communication, fostering stronger relationships and enhancing overall team performance and well-being.
Step 3: Using Emotional Intelligence
You’re ready to look for a solution after you practice active listening. It’s easier said than done, but emotional intelligence is key to gaining better tangible outcomes. By gaining insight into your own emotions and those of your teams, you can move towards finding that shared desired outcome and goals.
I don’t believe that leaders aspire to be detached or unfeeling. It can be easy, however, to prioritise task completion over considering the individual needs of their team members when there is a big deadline to meet or a client to impress. This creates an emotional disconnect that makes sustained high-performance teamwork challenging. In turn, leaders can find themselves in a derailing situation, where the gap between their intentions and outcomes is larger than they wanted.
Our biannual global leadership survey found that when leaders did not view their company’s leadership as effective with interpersonal skills, they were 3.5X more likely to indicate they wanted to leave within the year. Organisations that prioritise encouraging leaders to practice emotional intelligence see higher employee engagement, productivity and retention rates, coupled with reduced burnout levels. Emotional intelligence can significantly enhance the likelihood of achieving overarching organisational objectives.
Leaders can create a supportive environment by seeking team perspectives on challenges, prioritising tasks and encouraging idea generation for better communication and problem-solving. Emphasise the importance of active listening and consider team feedback, even if not all suggestions seem feasible initially. By integrating input and maintaining transparency, leaders can reduce team burnout and accelerate project progress. Acknowledging the complexities of leadership leads to a more collaborative and resilient team dynamic.
Lessons Learned
Good leadership relies heavily on understanding oneself, demonstrating empathy and fostering collaboration. As leaders, our actions have a big influence on how the company operates and thinks on a day-to-day basis. By “putting on our own mask first”, we’re ensuring the future success of our teams. Using emotional intelligence, leaders can learn to adeptly communicate with their teams, understanding both the words spoken and their underlying emotions to nurture rapport and trust within the team. Through strong relationship-building skills and emotional intelligence, empathy-equipped leaders cultivate collaboration, loyalty and a positive organisational culture.
Bruce Watt is Sr. VP Europe, Australia, India & Licensee Partners at DDI